martes, noviembre 30, 2004

Robert, el coleccionista

Crónica de un peruano indocumentado



Aunque se llama Roberto, Roberto ha habituado a los amigos a que lo llamen Robert, al modo anglosajón, y Robert tiene la nariz incásica, los cabellos negrísimos, engominados y peinados hacia atrás.

Suele usar camisas escandalosamente llamativas que parecen tejidas con hilos de neón, lleva además un reluciente arete en la oreja con una piedra incrustada, un collar de oro de dieciocho kilates, además de un cóndor tatuado en el antebrazo derecho.

De piel acholada y mirada de cautivador de serpientes, el tal Robert pasa por el típico latin lover en los salsódromos de Roppongi en Tokio.

Durante la semana, los días de Robert discurren lavando y preparando en una olla industrial kilos y kilos de arroz. Esa es su labor desde las doce de la noche hasta las nueve de la mañana.

Su empresa se dedica a la preparación de "obentos", comida rápida que se expende en las tiendas de conveniencia como 7Eleven, Family Mart, AM PM o Circle K.

Es una labor monótona, aburrida. Mientras las ollas humean, Robert practica nuevos pasos en su sitio que le evita la aparición de las temibles varices. Ya tiene algunas venitas verdosas y algo inflamadas bajo los tobillos.

Ha leído, en alguna parte (posiblemente en la revista Gisella que circula en las tiendas latinas de Japón) que caminar es el mejor antídoto contra las varices que se ensañan sobre todo con las personas que permanecen de pie, en el mismo sitio, horas y horas.

Hasta hace unos cuatro años, Robert era Roberto y conocía más de huainos y aires andinos que de música o de bailes afrocaribeñoslatinoamericanos. Su amigo del alma, Anatolio Paúcar, le cambió la vida cuando lo llevó de juerga un viernes por la noche a Salsa Sudada, un concurrido salsódromo de Tokio.

En aquel entonces, La Vida es un Carnaval en la voz de doña Celia Cruz, estaba de moda. Robert y Anatolio habían llegado a Roppongi a la hora del chongo y el frenesí, es decir, después de la medianoche, cuando los verdaderos amantes del ritmo sabroso deciden amanecerse bailando salsa ante la imposibilidad de abordar un tren que sólo circula hasta las doce de la noche o de pagar el carísimo servicio nocturno de un taxi.

Robert recuerda que sacó a bailar a una chica japonesa que se había disfrazado para la ocasión. Vestía una blusa de seda con motivos de cesta de frutas, era un atavío ceñido, además de una falda lunareja y unos zapatos de cuero, de taco no muy elevado adquirido en La Habana. Se había amarrado los cabellos con una vincha.

A los pocos minutos, Keiko, así dijo llamarse la chica, le preguntó a Roberto al verlo bailar como un epiléptico si en verdad él era latinoamericano.

¡Porsupuesto!, respondió Roberto ofendido, ¿por qué lo preguntas? Porque -le dijo la muchacha- estás bailando cualquier cosa menos salsa.

Keiko tenía el estereotipo de que los latinos, sin excepción, sabían bailar salsa, ese mismo estereotipo que nos induce a pensar a nosotros, los latinos, que todos los chinos saben kung fu y los japoneses karate. Un disparate.

Herido en su amor propio, Roberto y su lastimado orgullo, optaron por revertir esa situación aprendiendo a bailar salsa, pero salsa de la firme. No la que se bailaba en Lima sino en Nueva York, que según su amigote Anatolio Páucar era más chévere y elegante.

Bailando de la mano y de la cintura de Páucar, Roberto aprendió a bailar salsa y mientras se esmeraba en sintonizar con el ritmo con un pasito pa'delante y otro pa'trás, fue cambiando de indumentaria, de zapatos y de look hasta parecerse en la forma de vestir, caminar y mirar a Joe Rivera, ¡azúcar!.

Si hasta entonces su vida en Japón era plana, aburrida y monótona, entre la fábrica y el microscópico apartamento que ocupaba a quince minutos en bicicleta de la estación de Omiya, la incursión a ese salsódromo de Tokio le dio un vuelco a su discreta existencia.

Pronto, su colección de cassettes de huaynos de la Princesita de Yungay, de la Pastorita Huaracina, del Indio Mayta o el lamento ayacuchano en la guitarra de Jaime Guardia sería desbordado por los más insignes cantantes y las orquestas de música salsa.

Tenía de todo en su nueva colección tropical, desde los CDs de Pérez Prado, los hits de Ismael Miranda, Juan Luis Guerra, la India, Rubén Blades con su clásico Pedro Navaja, hasta la desaparecida Orquesta La Luz.

Lo de Robert fue porque, en una de esas noches de salsa, en Roppongi, te topaste con un infante de marina de origen latino que servía en la armada estadounidense en la base de Fusa. Estabas pasado en copas cuando te pisó un callo mientras danzabas en la poblada pista de baile.

Te salió un "ay, carajo" del alma y tu primera reacción fue darle un manotazo sin ver de quién se trataba. Cuando levantaste la mirada te encontraste con un cholo como tú, pero alto, muy alto, de unos noventaicinco kilos de peso y con el pelo rapado. Parecía el ropero de tu abuela Jacinta.

Pero no te chupaste y lo retaste disparándole una ráfaga de lisuras e insultos que el enorme soldado chicano lo único que hizo al verte fue sonreirte para devolverte un amable, "Sorry, I dont speak spanish".

Fue entonces que supiste que el ropero ese se llamaba casi igual que tú, no Roberto sino Robert, que sonaba de veras muy lindo en voz de ese ramillete de aeromozas australianas con las que ese soldado había acudido al salsódromo.

Desde esa noche, Roberto decidió suprimir la última "o" de su nombre. Así sonaría más bacán. Si en la fábrica eras un oscuro operario sometido al mal humor de la jefa de planta, los viernes y sábados por la noche eras el rey de las amanecidas.

Gracias al chicano que te aplastó el callo descubriste que tu concepto de belleza era pobre y errado, que tu complejo de inferioridad racial era absurdo y necio, sino cómo podías explicar por qué eras tan popular no sólo entre las muchachas japonesas de cutis de seda sino también entre las rusas, las eslovacas, las ucranianas, las rumanas que eran tan blancas como la leche, rubias como el trigo y de ojos azules como el cielo, que al rozar tu piel y tus labios se volvían locas, locas por posesionarse de tu perfil vallejiano, de tu cetrina piel y tu porte andino que te daban una clásica belleza incásica.

Tú, que me confesaste que en Lima fuiste mozo de restaurante, vendedor de libros usados en el parque universitario y hasta cambista de dólares en Ocoña, asumías el cariño de las mujeres de Roppongi como una revancha frente al desprecio que recibiste de esas chicas blanquiñosas de San isidro, Miraflores y las Casuarinas que te veían como cualquier cosa, ni más ni menos como un asqueroso jardinero, un vulgar chofer de combi, un heladero de Donofrio, un gasfitero, un serenazgo o un salvavidas de la Guardia Civil, pero nunca como un igual ante el altar, Diós y la ley de los hombres.

Ahora, para ti, esas pituquitas limeñas son chancay de a medio, un remedo de mujer caucásica, en otras palabras, cholas blancas pintadas de rubio que en nada se comparan con las enormes hembras europeas con las que te has metido en la cama gracias a la salsa, sí señor.

-¿Qué? ¿No me crees? Yo no soy palero, mi hermano- me dice Robert.
-Te creo.

Es un jueves por la noche, mientras bebemos en su apartamento de soltero un pisco Biondi que nos acaba de llegar de Lima. Pero, claro, Robert no puede con su soberbia e insiste que no me miente. No te muevas, me dice, antes de dirigirse a su habitación y volver con una maleta de viaje que después de correr el cierre relámpago, provoca una catarata de bragas sobre la mesa.Bragas de todos los colores, tamaños y telas, algunas de seda, otras de algodón pero la mayoría de lycra. Son bragas que tienen forma de tanga, de vikini, de hilo dental, algunas tradicionales, clásicas y otras breves.

Robert se las lleva a la nariz, las huele y por el olor va sacando nombres, fechas y detalles: "este es de la rusa Olga -dice- y recuerdo que esa noche estaba resfriada. Este otro, agujereado, pertenecía a Helena, una muchacha griega a la que aloje en mi apartamento por una semana antes de hacerse amante de un iraní. Este otro, con bombachos, era de una colocha (colombiana) igualita pero igualita a la cantante Shakira, sólo Diós sabe los lomos que me he comido con la salsa. Vaya, vaya, este otro es Silvy, la francesa... en cambio, este calzón escuálido, de niña, es de Akemi, el primer sushi que probé en Japón.

-¿No quieres oler uno?- me pregunta Robert. Como no respondo, añade: Yo, choche, soy como el Cienciano del Cusco, comparto mis éxitos internacionales con todos los peruanos.

Así como unos coleccionan sellos postales, automóviles o aviones a escala, Robert distrae su estancia nipona coleccionando bragas. Esos breves trozos de tela son sus trofeos, el premio a su constancia seductora, el incentivo que anima esos treintaisiete años de edad cuyo peso ya se deja sentir.

-De verdad, ¿no quieres oler uno?- insiste Robert.
-Paso, compadre
-Choche, tienes que aprender salsa- me alienta.
-¡Salud!- brindo, chocando su vaso.
-¡Kampai!- me responde.

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